The useless era of the 1980s brought us many things including a TV show called “The A Team.” With everything in life now seemingly retro, it seemed time (or not) to bring the long forgotten show to the big screen (or not.) It’s been ten years in development, and gazillions spent, and this is the result: A Team is such “A” disaster, the studio would have been better off risking Die Hard 8. In this, the charming, womanizing bad-boy (Bradley Cooper) is admittedly well-cast, Colonel Hannibal (Liam Neeson) is fine, too, though one has to wonder what possessed someone of Neeson’s greatness to take such a trashy role? Attract a younger audience? Explore more options? Bad option. Then there’s geeky tech whiz Murdoch (Sharlto Copley – you know him from District Nine) and finally rounding out the cast in the favorite Mr. T role is Quinton “Rampage” Jackson. The movie opens “Somwhere in Mexico” and manages to go nowhere fast. Loud rap music, lots of car crashes, lots of heckling, but there’s something missing… Could it be a plot? We’re constantly reminded that these four guys are “The most valuable military men…” but aside from a lot of gags, prankster/gangster attitude and shouting commands, they’re a far cry from, say, oh I don’t know, James Bond, that might be taken seriously. What I do take seriously is the lotta-noise and lotta-waste of my time sitting in a seat. Correct me if I’m wrong but weren’t eleven writers hired to fix this? I longed to walk out after maybe writer number three. One tiara
