The movie opens with the Louvre’s curator removing an 8 x 12 painting from the wall and slamming it to the floor. For starters, curators are retired at age 65 and it would take about five men, not one, to smash that painting. This is an example of how Dan Brown’s book (or this movie) can only be enjoyed if you (religious fanatics) don’t take it too seriously – getting all ‘Catholic’ about it. And further, the movie’s biggest sin isn’t religion at all – it’s how talky it is. What makes for a great book, doesn’t make for a great movie, although if you didn’t read the book, then you will need the lengthy explanations in order for the plot to make any sense. In a way, the movie, like Tom Hank’s character, is damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Tom Hanks plays cryptologist Robert Langdon called into the scene of a crime, yet somehow ends up tangled into a major conspiracy, thanks to his co-star, French actress, Audrey Tautou who plays Sophie, the granddaughter to the man lying in the pool of blood. After an hour of the two being chased around by French officials led by actor Jean Reno, they land at the home of Sir Leigh Teabing (Ian McKellan) hobbling around a room and sprouting amusing Holy Grail facts – the most entertainment the movie offers, since Hank’s wooden (this ain’t no “Forrest Gump”) performance is limited to the book’s puzzle and plotline. McKellan seems to be the only one having fun with his role. Paul Bettany as the albino monk, seems to have too good a time, too. All that said, the movie is never bad, just boring, despite the critics beating up on Ron Howard. It’s more a throwback to sophomore history class when you stare at the wall clock anxious for the bell to ring, but the teacher is into some lengthy explanation about Christianity and war. Two crowns
