Ah, heightened high school returns. If the first Twilight was exhilarating, new, engaging and sexy – like a torrid marital affair sucking you into its vortex; and the second installment was charmless, this third one is about the exposure of all the lover/parties involved. Should I stay or should I go? It’s decision making time for our Bella (Kristen Stewart) over “Team Edward” (Robert Pattinson) or “Team Jacob” (Taylor Lautner, who never wears a shirt.) Personally all I could think of was why either of the guys wants this pale, anemic looking girl, who mumbles her dialog every other sentence. I say, go for the feisty red head with fangs. Anyway, our Bella’s got an “English final” but she’s got big decisions to make, too… Should the world end by fire or ice? Should she marry Edward (he proposes fifty times in this melodrama.) Should she choose never to see her parents again? Should she kiss Jacob and cheat? And can she make these life changing decisions before graduation in three weeks? Of course one also wonders how many times and lives can Edward graduate from high school. And then there’s the serial killer attacking all over Seattle with his “newborn” gang that must be stopped. Yes, life is complicated. This is a movie that thrives on its Puritan audience and how abstinence is sexy. Jacob drools, growls and insists (always shirtless, but I said that) that Bella should be with him in the human life before tossing it all in for the life beyond. Remember, once she goes, there’s something bigger than love…Blood. And this soon-to-be grown young lady hasn’t even lived life as an adult yet. Hey, let’s face it… despite being “Team Edward” all along, suddenly the side-burned, ghostly-white, golden-eyed boy who stares zombie-like frozen in time, comes with a lot of baggage. Three tiaras (one for Jacob. Without a shirt.)
