Another year….Another Oscar season has begun. Fairly sure Cloud Atlas will be lost in the storm.  Ben Affleck will be nominated for Best Director (thank GOD. Finally!) for Argo. Marion Cotillard will be nominated for a naked Oscar in Rust & Bone, Helen Hunt for a naked Oscar in The Sessions, Bradley Cooper for a clothed Oscar in The Silver Linings Playbook, but Anna Karenina a.k.a. Reality Housewives of Moscow is a mess, though its costume and sets are magnificent.

 

So here it is. Oscsar season upon us.  And in over ten years I’ve only missed one category….that of Eddie Murphy who should have won for Best Supporting actor for DREAMGIRLS. That said, this is the most complicated – all over the map – year.  Betting on the THE ARTIST for best film, but those best actor categories are tough. Here’s to last years Oscar season when I got to BE there on the red carpet and the winners were obvious!  Raise a glass!

 

Exhale. Oscar season begins.  So far, Money Ball is the one to beat. Brad Pitt’s performance has “Oscar” written all over it.  Couple that with an American past time, baseball, an underdog factor and the fact he’s never won as Academy award, and well, you get the picture…

 

As though having more sequels in the history of movies is not enough. Now the loud summer blockbusters boast “3D,” as though “1D’ just isn’t enough.

 

 

 

 

10. The ridiculous Oscar goodie bag’s neon pink glow-in-the-dark thong panties

9. Black Swan director, Darren Aronofsky always calling me “Sweetheart” and the adorable Mila Kunis always happy to see me after sharing a plane together when all the awards began in December.

8. Massaging Russell Brands head during commercial breaks. Him loving it and saying, “That’s how it ALLLL starts.” He sat in front of me at the Oscars. Row three.  And his big black curls blocked some of my stage view.

7. Mark Ruffalo, Best Supporting actor for The Kids Are Allright, emailing me back/forth daily little anecdotes like passing notes in class. And then high-fiving me – very high school – on the red carpet (with a private joke we shared.)

6. My new favorite friend Helena Bonham Carter and her fabulous mother with the winning smile.  On the British Airways plane from London to LA I pop an ambien and recline back after champagne (long fifteen hour flight). Helena comes down the aisle dressed in an all black outfit like something out of Sweeney Todd and asks what I think of her acceptance speech (which we – Simon and I – proceed to listen to.) Just in case she wins, of course (She just won the BAFTA).  She’ll have the speech notes tucked inside her ball gown – either Vivienne Westwood or Coleen Atwood (the designer who did her Alice in Wonderland wardrobe.) Ambien goes into overdrive and I find myself talking to her most of the flight sans sleep. Sleep, btw, during an awards campaign, becomes a luxury.

5. My new BFFs – the writers, Michael Arnt Toy Story and Andres Heinz Black Swan. And the ever-wonderful Mark Ruffalo!

4. Colin Firth in his gym clothes, on the treadmill, Colin sipping martinis at the bar, Colin in the elevator, Kings Speech winner Ca-ca-ca Colin all the time.

3. Then Colin seeing me on the red carpet, smiling, and making a special point to come over and kiss me – both cheeks – and then on the lips. Ryan Seacrest saying “Did you get that?” to his camera men. And then Colin hangs to chat longer as the press screams his name for attention.

2. My date, three time Oscar nominee, Simon Beaufoy (Full Monty, Slumdog Millionaire (winner) and this year’s 127 Hours) sitting in row four at the Oscars. He gazes over at me, squeezes my hand, and says “How’d a boy from Yorkshire [England] get the most beautiful girl of my life?”

1. The end of the big Vanity Fair party… our gang of friends [from various nominated films] all standing in a small circle amidst the noisy crowds and stars. We stare at each other over our wine glasses and everything in our world goes bubble-incubated quiet. That look crosses our faces that says “all the awards shows – Globes, BAFTA, VH1, Oscars – are coming to a close.” And then, suddenly, like Slinky, Big Baby, Mr Potato Head, Barbie and Ken, we see the incinerator of reality just ahead. And the gig is up.

 

Move over everything else. Black Swan has arrived and she’s one ugly duckling of a threat….

 

A woman goes to the concession stand and wants a simple thing. Or so she thinks. A small soda. And a PEPSI (my sponsor) if possible. The questions from the young, enthusiastic, employee behind the counter begin: Do you want a medium, it’s only 50 cents more? Do you want popcorn? Candy? Do you have a Regal card? (what IS a regal card?) Do you want to donate your change to ________ insert cause? No, I just want a damn soda! Just a soda!

 

May 2009 – Love this female perspective on “Wolverine” from a listener named Deb in Ithaca! Take it away Deb:

“You know, I’m really concerned if so many people found Wolverine confusing or “couldn’t get it.” I’m a 50 year old woman who’s been following the X-Men movies, and I found that Wolverine answered all the questions I had about his origins, which I believe is what was intended. There was nothing difficult to follow in this film, which is a very good comic-book action film. It took us back to show his first instance of mutant power, and then quickly spun us forward through the next decades while very neatly showing Victor’s downward spiral as he gave way to his baser instincts. Without dwelling on too much detail, it gave all the reasons for things that followed in the X-Men films, and I now understand why Wolverine is the way he is and why he doesn’t remember any of it. It’s basic, really, and if viewers could not understand it I just attribute that to the overall dumbing down of America. Everything was presented in clear, consecutive detail that anyone could easily follow. I think this was very good action film, and will definitely add it to my collection when it appears on DVD.”

 

April 26th Okay, I adore Denzel Washington and have so much sympathy for John Travolta’s recent family tragedy, but come on guys…..do you have to make “The Taking Of Pelham 123” about a holdup in a NYC subway station? In a time when terrorists are just LOOKING for idea, I guess I won’t be taking public transit anytime soon.

 

April 9th – on today’s show I posed the question to my listeners ‘what do I do if I have to meet Prince Charles when I’m in London next week?” Do I curtsy, bow, high five him? Thank you for all your responses. This one is my favorite from a listener in Manchester NH: I once met Prince Charles about 38 years ago when I was living in Portsmouth, NH and he was in the navy. Portsmouth was celebrating its 350th and the Prince was going from Portsmouth England to Portsmouth, NH. Because the mayor was a car dealer and my family owned one, we were invited to meet him. There was a receiving line and everyone got to meet him and shake his hand. There was no bowing or curtseing and so to answer your question about how to greet him, he was pretty down to earth, had a great tan and looked pretty dashing in his white uniform. A memory I will always treasure.

 

Been a while since I’ve posted anything but the fact that “Fast and Furious” took the box office this weekend really sickens me. This is bad news for any REAL screenwriters. I admit to loving the first one, but now Vin Diesel looks plain silly and too old with all those screaming road racing kids, reciting really bad lines, and in a plot we’ve seen fifty thousand times before. Of course this only means one thing: “Fast and Furious 7, 8, 9 and 10.” Eye roll. And people out there actually WANT my job. Remember, I have to sit through the bad ones, too.