Can’t Bella (Kristin Stewart) just find a nice, normal boy who works at the mall? In last year’s hit Twilight, she went for Edward (Robert Pattinson), the soulful high school vampire. In this, Bella still pines for Edward, but now she’s distracted by Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), her new best friend, who’s fallen head over heels for her. Thank God he’s not a vampire. Nope, he’s a werewolf. And you thought studying for earth science finals was tough – this eleventh-grader is torn between men who want to devour her. Literally. And Bella’s idea of “going all the way” means dying. The Twilight series takes high school romance to a new level, and it seems teenage girls (and their moms) are eating it up. The problem with this film is that while it remains true to the Stephenie Meyer book that is its source, true aficionados of the series know that the second book was weak, a non-page-turner. Likewise, the movie is a lackluster romance in which charismatic Edward spends much of the time MIA. He’s 109 years old, after all, and the older man thing just ain’t working. Couple that with his refusal to turn Bella into an immortal – he’s worried about destroying her lovely soul – and her begging to be transformed into a vampire since he “won’t want me when I’m a grandmother,” and you’ve got the basis for their chaste lovers’ spat. But once Edward runs off, the film fails. New Moon becomes Jacob’s movie, and by the end of the film you’ll be either Team Edward or Team Jacob – don’t worry, the third installment comes out next summer. I’m for red-lipped bad boy Edward, though Jacob’s often-exposed chest puts the Hulk to shame. The first film had high school naughty heat. This one has soap opera dialogue and no magic. And we won’t even get into the DaVinci Code ending, which made my eyes roll. The only outstanding thing about New Moon is that, in a world of over-the-top action movies, this one can raise a panic over a bleeding paper cut. Four fang marks but only two tiaras.
